I miss my friends
When I was in France, I would regularly dream of New York. Then I would wake up in a non-New York place, and be very disappointed. At this point, I can't think of living anywhere else. Maybe it would be wise to move West, or just away from the megalopolises that attracts so many immigrants that we are canceling each other chances of making it here. I don't know.
The strange thing is I've been dreaming a lot about France these last couple months. I thought it was just a temporary thing, but it only got worse. And know, there's always some friends of mine guest-starring in my dreams. Old friends, good friends, best friends, friends I've lost touch with, ex girlfriends, friends who are now dead or so deep into hard drugs that they might as well be dead already. Individually or by groups, they come and haunt my dreams.
It might sound weird, but in a way, it's nice to see them. Dreams have this quality of creating a new reality. During those few seconds, everything is as real for us as the daytime reality. So I see my friends.
Then I wake up anxious and stressed and wondering why the fuck I try so hard to make it here. It's not like I believe in the American Dream. It's not like I want to be rich and famous.
Seeing the Brooklyn Bridge everyday makes it worth it. Walking through Grand Central everyday makes it worth it. Eating a big-ass cheeseburger in a 24 hour diner downtown makes it worth it.
On the down side there is the lack of insurance, the fact that I'm not saving money for my retirement. The fact that I cannot see my old friends and family. Oh, and I miss bread and cheese too.
The strange thing is I've been dreaming a lot about France these last couple months. I thought it was just a temporary thing, but it only got worse. And know, there's always some friends of mine guest-starring in my dreams. Old friends, good friends, best friends, friends I've lost touch with, ex girlfriends, friends who are now dead or so deep into hard drugs that they might as well be dead already. Individually or by groups, they come and haunt my dreams.
It might sound weird, but in a way, it's nice to see them. Dreams have this quality of creating a new reality. During those few seconds, everything is as real for us as the daytime reality. So I see my friends.
Then I wake up anxious and stressed and wondering why the fuck I try so hard to make it here. It's not like I believe in the American Dream. It's not like I want to be rich and famous.
Seeing the Brooklyn Bridge everyday makes it worth it. Walking through Grand Central everyday makes it worth it. Eating a big-ass cheeseburger in a 24 hour diner downtown makes it worth it.
On the down side there is the lack of insurance, the fact that I'm not saving money for my retirement. The fact that I cannot see my old friends and family. Oh, and I miss bread and cheese too.
posted by Cecyl at 2:30 PM
4 Comments:
These cheeseburgers that you speak of occasionally sound intriguing. I'm starving!
Aw, maybe it's as simple as you are missing France for the holidays.Although the cheese and bread, hey. :)drawing them toyou since you can't go to them.
Or else you are having premonitional
dreams.
Damn though,that sucks that you work so hard and don't even have insurance. They treat you like shit if you don't, and you get sick. I remember all too well.:(
Hope things look up in the coming year,surely they will! xoxoLisa
Listening to news about the transit strike. Wow. Hmmm...illegal strike.
Hope you weren't adversely affected by this! :o
you know it is very strange...i dont know why the french guys that are around me dont wanna be in france even when they miss some stuff....maybe they are in big cities as you cause they like the beuty of chaos, who knows....
hug!
big big HUG!
Nabo: Unfortunately, I depend on the MTA 100%, so... it was hard.
Mag: Can't wait to hug you back, chica! ;)
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