Sunday afternoon in Lower East Side

P. and I are sitting at a table outside of a small restaurant in the Lower East Side. She says that during her stay in the City this week she noticed I had changed. She says she wants to see me eat. She thinks I'm starving. She says that she's treating me to a panini sandwich, which she assure me are excellent here. I look at the menu but I don't understand a word of what's in front of me. All I think is that $9 or $10 is quite a lot for a panini. She says she noticed I'm not really there. That when she speaks to me it's like I'm here but also somewhere else at the same time. It's strange. I had never thought about that. At this moment she's totally right. I say I'll take whatever panini it is she had last time she came here because this menu makes no sense. But my biggest problem at that moment is trying to find a way to drop a Lexomil without her noticing it. I love P. She's a great girl. I've known her for a while but only vaguely. She was my bro's girlfriend but never had an occasion to really sit down and talk. And then she decided to get a "training" in the U.S. and got one in a restaurant in the State of New York. I put training in between inverted comas because there's not much American cooks can teach her. She's really good at what she's doing in that kitchen. That's why they sent her for a week at Jean George. So I helped her with her papers and last year she came to the City and that's when we really met and talked.

Later I take her to Grand Central and watch her train pull out of the station and return to L.'s. I was suppose to take P.'s Metrocard and give it to L. but we arrived late at Grand Central and in the rush we totally forgot the Metrocard. When I arrive at L.'s place, she starts a speech not very different from P.'s at the restaurant, except that she focuses more on my "career" or rather lack of and of the negative influences that surround me. I immediately wish I was supple enough to kick my own ass for not having seen this coming and taking a prophylactic Lexomil before entering her building.

It's not that P. and L. don't know about the Lexomil. It's just that it would be rude to drop one in front of your friends when they start a critical analysis of your current life.